Prep the slow cooker: Lightly grease the insert with a little butter or avocado oil to prevent sticking.
Layer the base: Add the cauliflower florets, chopped onion, and minced garlic to the slow cooker. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper.
Add sausage: Scatter the sliced sausage over the cauliflower. If you like a deeper flavor, optional step: quickly brown the sausage in a skillet before adding.
Make the cheese mixture: In a microwave-safe bowl, warm the heavy cream and butter until the butter melts (about 30–60 seconds).
Whisk in the cream cheese, Dijon, smoked paprika, and red pepper flakes until smooth. Stir in 1 cup cheddar and 1/4 cup mozzarella until mostly melted.
Combine: Pour the cheese mixture evenly over the sausage and cauliflower. Don’t worry if it’s not perfectly mixed; it will melt and coat as it cooks.
Cook: Cover and cook on Low for 3.5–4.5 hours or High for 2–2.5 hours, until the cauliflower is tender but not mushy.
Finish with cheese: About 15 minutes before serving, sprinkle the remaining cheddar and mozzarella over the top.
Cover and let it melt.
Taste and adjust: Stir gently. Add salt and pepper if needed. If the sauce is too thick, splash in a bit more cream; if too thin, let it sit uncovered for 5–10 minutes on Warm.
Garnish and serve: Top with chopped parsley or chives.
Serve as-is, or spoon over sautéed greens or zucchini noodles for a heartier plate.