Crisp the bacon: In a skillet over medium heat, cook chopped bacon until crisp. Transfer bacon to a paper towel-lined plate.
Reserve 1–2 tablespoons of bacon fat in the skillet for extra flavor.
Brown the beef: Add ground beef to the skillet with the bacon fat. Season lightly with salt and pepper. Cook until browned and crumbled, about 5–7 minutes.
Drain excess grease if needed.
Sauté aromatics: Add butter (or oil), onion, celery, and garlic to the skillet. Sauté 3–4 minutes until softened and fragrant. This step builds big flavor for the chowder.
Load the slow cooker: Add the browned beef, sautéed vegetables, half of the crispy bacon, cauliflower, tomato paste, mustard, smoked paprika, oregano, and chili powder to the slow cooker.
Add liquids: Pour in the beef broth.
Stir to combine and evenly distribute the seasonings and veggies.
Slow cook: Cover and cook on Low for 4–6 hours or on High for 2–3 hours, until the cauliflower is tender.
Finish creamy base: About 30 minutes before serving, whisk in the cream cheese and heavy cream. Stir well so the cream cheese melts smoothly into the broth.
Add the cheese: Stir in the shredded cheddar a handful at a time until fully melted and the chowder thickens slightly. Taste and adjust salt and pepper.
Serve: Ladle into bowls and top with the remaining crispy bacon, green onions, diced pickles, and extra cheese if you like.
A few dashes of hot sauce are great here.