Cook the bacon. Add chopped bacon to a large skillet over medium heat. Cook until crisp, 7–10 minutes.
Remove with a slotted spoon to a paper towel–lined plate. Reserve 1–2 tablespoons of bacon fat in the pan; discard the rest.
Mix the meatballs. In a large bowl, combine ground beef, ground pork, egg, parmesan, almond flour, ranch seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, salt, pepper, and parsley. Mix gently with your hands until just combined—don’t overwork it.
Form the meatballs. Scoop into 1.5-inch balls (about 18–20 total).
Roll lightly to shape.
Sear and cook. Heat the reserved bacon fat with a splash of oil over medium heat. Add meatballs in batches without crowding. Sear 2–3 minutes per side until browned, then lower heat and cook until the centers reach 160°F (71°C), about 8–10 minutes total depending on size.
Transfer to a plate to rest.
Make the ranch drizzle. Whisk mayonnaise, sour cream, ranch seasoning, lemon juice, and enough water to reach a drizzly consistency. Taste and adjust seasoning.
Warm the base. If using cauliflower rice, sauté with a little oil and salt until hot and tender, 3–4 minutes. If using zucchini noodles, quickly sauté 1–2 minutes so they stay crisp.
Assemble the bowls. Divide greens and cauliflower rice among bowls.
Top with meatballs, bacon, tomatoes, avocado, cheddar, red onion, and chives. Drizzle with ranch. Add a grind of black pepper and a pinch of flaky salt if desired.