Crisp the bacon: Place chopped bacon in a large skillet over medium heat.
Cook until crispy, about 6–8 minutes. Transfer to a plate and leave 1–2 tablespoons of bacon fat in the pan.
Sauté aromatics: Add the diced onion to the skillet and cook 2–3 minutes until softened. Stir in the garlic and cook 30 seconds until fragrant.
Brown the beef: Add ground beef.
Break it up with a spatula and cook until no longer pink, about 5–7 minutes. Season with salt, pepper, paprika, and optional smoked paprika. If there’s excess grease, spoon off a bit (leave some for flavor).
Build the sauce base: Stir in tomato paste, Worcestershire, and mustard.
Cook 1 minute to caramelize the paste slightly.
Add liquids and creaminess: Pour in beef broth. Stir in cream cheese until melted and smooth, then add heavy cream. Simmer 2–3 minutes to thicken slightly.
Fold in bacon and pickles: Return the crispy bacon to the pan and stir in the chopped pickles.
Taste and adjust salt and pepper.
Add the cheese: Sprinkle cheddar evenly over the skillet. Cover and let it melt on low heat for 2–3 minutes, or broil briefly if your skillet is oven-safe.
Finish and serve: Top with green onions or chives. Serve as is, or spoon over shredded lettuce for a “burger bowl” vibe.
Add extra pickles or a drizzle of mustard if you like.