Preheat and prep: Heat your oven to 375°F (190°C). Lightly grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
Crisp the bacon: In a large skillet over medium heat, cook the chopped bacon until crisp.
Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate. Leave about 1 tablespoon bacon fat in the pan.
Sauté aromatics: Add the diced onion to the skillet. Cook 3–4 minutes until softened.
Stir in garlic and cook 30 seconds until fragrant.
Brown the beef: Add ground beef. Break it up and cook until no longer pink, about 6–8 minutes. Drain excess fat if very greasy.
Season the mixture: Stir in mustard, sugar-free ketchup, smoked paprika, pepper, and salt.
Fold in chopped pickles and half the cooked bacon. Simmer 2 minutes to blend flavors.
Add cauliflower rice: Mix in riced cauliflower. Cook 2–3 minutes to steam off moisture.
Taste and adjust salt or mustard.
Make the custard: In a bowl, whisk eggs, heavy cream, and cream cheese (if using) until smooth. Stir in 1 cup shredded cheddar.
Assemble: Spread the beef mixture evenly in the baking dish. Pour the egg-cheese mixture over the top.
Sprinkle with remaining 1 cup cheddar and the rest of the bacon.
Bake: Bake 20–25 minutes, until the center is set and the top is bubbly and golden around the edges.
Garnish and rest: Let it rest 10 minutes. Top with sliced green onions and extra pickle slices if you like.
Portion for meal prep: Cut into 6–8 squares. Cool completely before sealing in containers.